makar [ˈmækər]
n (Literature / Poetry) Scot a creative artist, esp a poet
[a Scot variant of maker]

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Over the last month or so, my head has been a big mess of ideas and revelations and questions. I've been doing a bit of writing, not as much as I'd like, but I just haven't felt inspired to blog. I'm waiting for everything to settle again, so I can see with more clarity. I feel like I'm in this really strange place at the moment, moving out of the baby-growing years, while a lot of my friends from school and uni are just starting out on their parenthood adventures. And yet, I'm not free to get stuck into the next stage of my life, whatever that will entail. I guess I'm searching for some purpose or meaning, and trying to pin down all these swirling ideas. I keep dwelling on this quotation from Parker J. Palmer:

"Vocation does not mean a goal that I pursue. It means a calling that I hear. Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling me who I am. I must listen for the truths and values at the heart of my own identity, not the standards by which I must live - but the standards by which I cannot help but live if I am living my own life."

Saturday, September 5, 2015

This week I:

  • wrote a creative diary for the Womankind 'Creativity' Challenge. It was insightful, especially because I didn't get to do much writing during the five days it covered! 
  • cried and then got angry about the crazy stuff that happens in this cruel world. Decided briefly that I should do something different with my life, like become a human rights lawyer. Then realized, I'd be awful at that and resolved to stick to writing.
  • caught another f**king cold
  • went to the beach with my littlest boy and lay on the sand in the sunshine, even though I was wearing boots and several layers and a scarf. It felt divine.
  • watched a lot of Mad Men, while eating chocolate and drinking tea and trying to keep warm. 
  • got passionate about grammar.
  • read Patti Smith's Just Kids in little delicious bites because I love it and I don't want it to end.
  • made tomato pesto and hummus and pumpkin dal and pizza and chocolate chip cookies and apple cake and banana splits and endless cups of coffee. 
  • felt so happy and so sad.
And now, the kids are back from swimming, so here we go again!

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