But children, as previously discussed (many times), change everything. I really do believe, with all my heart, in the expression: "it takes a village to raise a child." We aren't meant to be doing it the way we are - in little, isolated family units - and that it why we feel so much pressure and inadequacy when we fall short of the impossible. The friends, I have made through parenthood, really are the silver lining, in what is a very tough gig. I have met so many beautiful, interesting, kind, perceptive people in the last few years, and they make all the difference to my days. But friendships need nurturing. Like all good things they require effort and work, and this can be hard when there are so many busy aspects to our lives. Plans are made and plans fall apart. Someone is sick, too tired, working, just plain over it. Sometimes I get disillusioned. I feel like every time I'm excited about some upcoming event, forces conspire to ruin it. I get a little paranoid about being pushy; am I more lonely than others? Is my life less full? Do I need others more than they need me? Am I not in the least bit interesting? But then I think, NO, that it is a very bad way to live. I'm not going to close off to possibilities because of insecurity and fear. I will keep trying, keep making connections and nurturing friendships because they really are the glue that holds us all together.
Photo by my dad