makar [ˈmækər]
n (Literature / Poetry) Scot a creative artist, esp a poet
[a Scot variant of maker]

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

I'm really intimidated by successful creative people. I have been for a long time (thinking back in particular to my first job after university and how terrified I was of everyone) but I've only recently worked out why I turn into a nervous wreck around certain individuals. My husband says it's because they're higher up the (creative) food chain, but I see it a little differently. I feel like successful creatives, be they artists, musicians, writers, whatever, have crossed some invisible line. They've worked out how to make it; they've stopped pretending and have become the person they want to be. I don't know... perhaps I've got it all wrong. But if I wasn't so in awe of those on the other side of the divide, this is what I'd like to know: when you're a success (doing what you do + others loving it + getting paid to do it), do you stop having those shitty days when you completely doubt yourself and your ability to produce anything of any merit? Do you shore up evidence of your greatness that keeps those shockers at bay? Or does it get worse? I was just wondering 'cause I'm on the other side and today was one of those days.

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