A good friend of ours has been staying in town for the last couple of weeks. Our eldest - both girls- were born within a few weeks of each other and we then went on to have two little boys of similar ages. We have a matching set of rascals, except she is expecting number four, and I have told her that she's definitely on her own for this round! Of course it has crossed my mind, whether I could have another. The other day, I held the most beautiful two week old baby and he was just so tiny and perfect, I felt a twinge of desire to experience that wonder again. But I know that my baby-growing days are over and that I am ready to move onto other stages in my life and to new adventures. It isn't sad for me, just really, really exciting. And I feel kind of grown up because I'm not just following my emotions (as I usually do) but instead making a decision about what is right for me and our family. I know I need to be more than a stay-at-home mum and I really shouldn't feel guilty about it. I watched this TED talk recently about how education should be about teaching kids how to be healthy, happy and creative:
made so much sense to me. Then I realised that I can't expect my
children to be these things, if I'm not seeking to be them myself. And
to be honest, for the last few months, I haven't been feeling very
healthy, happy or creative. Something needs to change. I'm not sure what
yet but I'm working on it.