makar [ˈmækər]
n (Literature / Poetry) Scot a creative artist, esp a poet
[a Scot variant of maker]

Sunday, August 11, 2013

I'm wildly ambitious about what I hope to achieve each evening. Once the kids are in bed and the kitchen cleaned, I sit down (in bed - this house is freezing!) with a huge cup of tea, my laptop, my stack of books, a sketchbook, my knitting, a magazine or newspaper all spread out around me. Every night I fall asleep with a sense of disappointment because inevitably I have fallen short of my plans. I am torn between the need to make the most of this small stretch of uninterrupted time - the quiet and the focus that is only possible for me when the kids are asleep - and my physical exhaustion pulling me down. I stay up way too late but I need this time for my sanity. It's been a rough few weeks - four days of solo parenting that ended with my three year old breaking his arm after falling from the climbing frame, and then a sick, teething and very grumpy baby, who doesn't seem to be able to sleep for more than two hours at a stretch. It will get easier, it will get easier, it will... right?

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