makar [ˈmækər]
n (Literature / Poetry) Scot a creative artist, esp a poet
[a Scot variant of maker]

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

I am hardly ever alone. This seems to be the difference between two and three children. I nearly always have at least one with me. Today, I caught the bus on my own and experienced one of those eerie feelings of being in another time and (head) space. Sitting at the bus stop, with the cold blue sky above and the bright sunshine in my eyes, my daughter's portfolio leaning against my legs, I felt nervous and insecure, like a teenage version of myself. And then it occurred to me that one day in the not too distant future, I'll spend hours every day on my own; that I will have to grow accustomed to this state because it has become so strange to me. I've always sought out time on my own: it's when I can daydream and be the most inspired. It's not that I don't like being around other people - I love talking and dislike eating alone - but I need to retreat, from time to time, into the world of my imagination. I was annoyed that I forgot my book today and missed out on an opportunity to read, but it was so much better, just to have that space to think and feel.


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